Is it okay to dislike the LGBTQ2S+ Community because you don't agree with them?

I had a question asked of me and I wanted to answer it but it was complex and led me to multiple answers so I broke it down into two questions. With Pride month almost at an end, this feels like the best time to post this topic. I have split the topic into two blog posts over two days. This is the first part.

Part A: Is it wrong to dislike or hate a group of people for their choices or opinions?

Short answer: Yes!

Long answer: Also, yes and…

1. Not liking something or someone usually leans toward hatred.

Otherwise, you would be indifferent to them or not care what they “choose” to do and with whom. The definition of dislike is a feeling of disgust or repulsion toward someone or something while hate is an intense dislike of someone or something. The difference is that dislike is usually limited to one or more aspects of someone or something (like disliking their clothes, opinion etc) and the feeling is fleeting. When you don’t like something, usually the feeling passes when you leave the person or place, when you get to know more about them, or when you spend enough time with them. Hate, on the other hand, leads to anger and violence because it does not dissipate. When dislike lingers past a situation, person, or action, it becomes hate which is an inherently destructive emotion. Dislike leads to hate which leads to prejudice (assuming every person within a group is the same) which leads to discrimination (treating them with dislike and hate) and eventually antagonism (hate crimes and attacking people for what they believe).

2. Hatred of an entire group of people for any reason is problematic.

You don't have to agree with someone especially if you disagree with their lifestyle. But you cannot dislike or hate every LGBTQ2S+ person for that one aspect of themselves. It is very different to dislike one person due to their actions, thoughts, or personality, but negative feelings toward a whole group disregard their individual traits. Once you vilify an entire group, they become less than human and that dehumanization is the excuse for multiple atrocities throughout time. When we see people as just one thing (a single opinion, skin colour, an action), we devalue them, and it becomes easier to act in anger and hatred. These actions are usually aggressive, hurtful, and deadly over time.

Religion is an opinion, and many people live their lives according to their religion. I don't have to agree with you but I can like you, be friends with you, and accept you without agreeing with your religion. This works with a lot of things. I do not agree with many politicians, but I don't hate them or even dislike them. They are people and they are doing their jobs. I often try not to think about them except for when their decisions affect my present life. Same for racists, sexists, homophobes, thieves, liars, etc. This is one aspect of them. I may not spend a lot of time with these people because their values differ from mine vastly. But I leave them be unless they directly impact my way of life.

3. Hate is unhealthy.

As I said earlier, hate lingers over time. This means that when you hate someone, something, or a group, you dwell on it, ruminate, and it affects your daily life. Doctors and religious people will tell you to forgive others and let go, not for others but for yourself. So, hating a whole group of people just because you disagree with them, is definitely not good for you. While hate develops from other emotions like fear, insecurity, rejection, and dislike, the feeling of hate does not alleviate the other emotions. Instead, it amplifies them while hiding the core of the hatred leading to extreme external reactions to the internal emotions. This stress affects physical, mental, and social wellbeing because it acts upon our body and mind like any other stress. Stress leads to inflammation, social isolation, and symptoms of mental illnesses so hate can mimic these illnesses due to its longevity.

4. Individual dislike is not the same as group dislike While I don't believe hate is ever a good idea, dislike can occur but it should be individual. A person wronged you or caused you some trauma? Fine, you can dislike them. But do know that long-term dislike still grows into hate. If a gay man stole your husband or son or broke up your relationships etc. Then, it is up to you how you react to that person. But remember that this one person does not represent every gay person in the world. And you cannot dislike or hate people you do not know, who have never harmed you, just because of how they live their life.

I don't like guns, but some people do and believe in them, deeply. Well, that's their choice. I don't spend a lot of time with gun owners but I'm friends with a few. If they shoot me or someone I love, then the conversation about that specific person may change. But for now, it's their life and lifestyle and I cannot even dislike them for a choice. There is more to them than gun ownership just like there is more to the LGBTQ2S+ community than their sexuality.

In conclusion:

You don't have to agree with the sexuality spectrum. You can think it's an opinion or lifestyle choice or whatever you want. But as long as gay people are not forcing themselves into your life and forcing you to be gay, then leave them be.

And you may be thinking, what about PRIDE and tv and characters in fiction and books. Just avoid things you don't agree with if it bothers you that much. Honestly, I like reading and watching things that disagree with me. It gives me perspective and empathy (I can understand why they think the way they do) and it makes me question my values to see if they hold up.

If televangelists, Bible salesmen, preachers on the street, TV shows explicitly preaching religion etc., are freely able to spread their beliefs, then so can those who believe in fluid sexuality. They can talk about it, ask you to refer to them a certain way, and live their lives around you.

There are exceptions to every rule.

Being tolerant does not mean tolerating intolerance. It is completely acceptable to voice your opinions and thoughts, especially against intolerance and hatred. But in all things, remember that we are all human; respect goes a long way in swaying opinions and thoughts. If you crawl down into the mud with hateful words and actions, you are no different than those you criticize.

*Disclaimer*

This is not politically motivated or biased toward the right or the left. These statements are my opinions alone and therefore I could be wrong and humbly accept my limits.